pardon the vulgarities in this post.

what the fuck?! why does it have to end this way? why can't the both of you sit down and talk and settle this amicably? it only started over a fucking small thing, and now it have to end this way? just what the hell happen? why can't the both of you just take a step backwards and give way to each other? someone enlighten me please. i can't stand this.

1:20 AM

started off today with a bad sore throat and a slight fever. but somehow i managed to drag myself out of the bed and prepare for the training later on. the time to meet changed 2 times ._. every single time i was ready to leave the house, i received a sms saying the time was push back by 30 minutes. N-I-C-E

training was okay. talked to the sec 1s about NPCC, and all those stuffs that the seniors have heard billions and zillions of times ever since they joined us. training ended and off we went to the coffee shop to have dinner. and a special guest was there. a sharing session ended when one by one leaves the place -.-

and yes! my sore throat is getting better, and my fever is gone! woot!

11:19 PM

O lvl results day. a pretty nervous day for me. hahaha, those talks about results and stuffs really freak some out.

reached school at around 12.30pm. walau! we was supposed to meet up for lunch, instead, we don't have the appetite to eat. TMD! slack at the canteen till 1.50pm before we are willing to lift our butts off the seats and proceed to the hall. as usual, there will be talks going on and stuffs like that. VP talked about the percentage of the results and blah blah blah, which went on for around 45 minutes.

and OH SHIT. the teachers gave the results according to their register number. AND I WAS THE SECOND ONE. NO!. my teacher even said, "Well done, very good results." i looked at my results, and "wtf?!" came to my mind. i did not get what i expected. such a disappointment. sigh..

people might say things like "i should have studied even harder!", "Walau, my results sucks man, that time i should not play my xbox/PS2/PSP/PS3/Nintendo Wii" and more which i can't think of right now. your marks is already decided once you pass up that stupid paper to the invigilators. so its no use whining/complaining after you get your results. sigh.

and now i'm preparing for my poly life..

PS: i'm having a fever right now, and there's training tmr. so good luck to whoever irritates me.

11:29 PM

awwman, this blog is collecting more and more dust. what to do? lots of things have been going on and on. endlessly. and there's lots of things to express too.

and now now, i finally realize how useful a blog is. how useful it is to express your own opinion. looking from blog to blog, it really shows me how people use blog to express what they really feel.

the chain of emails have been going on for quite some days. those who aren't expected to reply, replied. and lots of arrows are hidden inside the message of the emails. this is the first time i've ever seen such thing happens in EMAILS. guess i've to get use to such things in future.

i was tempted to reply, but i stop myself. why? i'm not yet posted back. although i have a rough idea of whats going on, its better to just watch. Alan said this, "We are new CIs, and this is the time where we talk less, watch and learn more" this, i fully agree. we should use our ears more than our mouth. "不愧是ilyani 教出来的。"<--- Shereen. hahaha.

so for now, i should really listen more than i talk.

11:14 PM

opps. didn't post for 1 week. well, i've got nth to write about, so why bother? :D

yesterday was the sec 1 orientation. i think that they were quite er.. ok? they did not behave that bad as what the councilors said. but, never judge a book by its cover! and i've got a few pictures! yay! haha

10:10 PM

i'm surprise that i'm still blogging now. hahahaha. maybe this interest will keep me blogging for long? i don't know. :)

friday was the first training of the year 2008. went down for the training even though my posting was not out yet. :x but who cares? hahahaha. alan said that i was too fierce. and shereen even said that i'm becoming to be like ilyani. first training already shouting at cadets. am i that fierce?.. =/ i might be, but if there's no reason for me to shout, i wouldn't be shouting. :)

i realized that i'm becoming more and more lazy as the day goes by. lol.. sleep late, wake up late. can't blame me. i love the life that i'm having now.

as i browse through my friend's blog, i came to realise that, it all came down to fate. the LOW marks i get for PSLE, enrolling into SGS, getting involved in NPCC, knowing her and stuffs like that. imagined me getting HIGH marks for PSLE, and enrolling into Xinmin Sec, which is what i'll do as it is so near to where i lived. i'll not experience such a life in Xinmin at all. she've been saying how glad she was when her parents advise her to join NP. if not she'd not have met me(which was quite true). all the great friends i've and all the fun, laughters, tears, anger and joy in NPCC was what i've got and experience in SGS. its a regret that i didn't realised it until after graduation.

"if there's a reason behind every actions that you take, go ahead and do it. when people question you about your actions, tell them your reasons."

10:16 PM

yes! its a start of a new year. a start of my new tertiary life! whats my resolution for this year? i don't even know it myself. hahahahah. first day of sch for secondary sch. kinda pity them now. the time they was dismiss from sch is the time i wake up. lol..

one moment we are studying so damn hard for the O's, wishing that it will be over soon. but now, after O's, we are so damn bored at home, looking for jobs, and wishing that we can go back to secondary life. life is always like this. we wish for one thing, and after getting it, we wants to go back to that time. how irony.

wednesday was the meeting for the sec 1 orientation. was at sch by 12plus, having lunch with alan. and when the bell rang for dismissal, all the students was rushing for the gate. they can't wait to get out of the sch. hahaha. saw the new sec 1s, who reminded me of the time when i was sec 1, so innocent(LOL).

comparing the old sch compound and the new one now, i would prefer the old sch compound. the fields were bigger, and there were two! instead of the only 1 now. there were more than 5 basketball courts, compared to the only one court now. ah. thats a big change. and now the sch is being occupied by Peicai Secondary. though my batch have only been at the old sch compound for 3 months, it really holds unforgettable memories of the sec 1 orientation and NPCC selection camp.

9:25 PM